New Blogs coming soon

I got pretty busy this spring, but I plan on writing some new blogs this summer.


Just wanted to update to keep this thing alive and breathing.

Real Housewives of Orange County

Thought it was time for another Real Housewives post. Yes, I watch a lot of unnecessary reality television. Anyway, I think it's fun to type these outrageous characters. I tend to believe these people are playing dramatized versions of themselves, or maybe I just want to hope they are...

As a general aside I believe the culture of Coto De Caza or O.C. is very much 3ish and 7ish so many of these women have an overlay of 3 or 7 as they have integrated into the culture, and many of them likely have it in the tritype which can somewhat subvert their typings. I think I've gotten a good grasp of these women's core strategies though so I'll try to give an adequate brushstroke of each of the main characters. However, it is interesting to note that I've seen a few Housewives come and go who couldn't seem to integrate into the culture very well (Quinn and Tammy to name a couple), so success on the show seems to rest on how well one can keep up with the 3ish focus on image and appearance and 7 fast paced, bubbly California cultural expectations.


Vicki

Vicki Gunvalson has been on the show since the first season so I've had a chance to really get a feel for her main type strategy. I see her as a 3w4 self preservation subtype/social subtype (she could even be the 3w2, her wings are fairly close). She is success oriented and seems to care first and foremost about making enough money to support her lifestyle and her family and ensure their thriving success. I used to believe she was a 6 because of the anxiety that seems to permeate her energy. I do think it's in the tritype (3-6-1) but maintaining her independence, keeping up with the Jones's  and the maintenance of her "professional business woman" image seem to be of paramount importance to her. She is an assertive type and has a tendency to take the reigns in any interaction (which is why I believe she chooses passive types as close friends and mates). She is perhaps the most independent and assertive of all of the Housewives and is incredibly proud of her hard work, tenacity, and ability to make money. She seems to have a great need for loyalty and camaraderie with her friends and greatly values her family relationships. However, Vicki can't seem to help but get caught up in drama in which she maintains an odd distance while still being judgmental. Her relationship with Jeana was interesting to watch because I think Jeana represented her connection to 9 and so would incite strong feelings against her own line to 9 due to Jeana's tendency toward passivity and complacency. Here's a good illustration of the tension between their two types:



Vicki runs a tight ship at home and seems to be well matched with her more passive husband Don (a 9w1). In the following clip she's a little drunk but she seems to play into the notion of her appropriate, successful, image:



Her anxiety is pretty palpable but I think this isn't uncommon for the self pres type who wants to ensure the security and comfort of herself and family. Vicki works in the insurance industry which is another testament to a strong 6 in the tritype and her self preservation instinct. In season 4 she really pushed her son to branch into the insurance business as I believe she wants her legacy to continue, however she managed to produce two passive but stubborn 9 children that are largely uninterested in pursuing the path of extreme financial success and dedicated hard work that their pushy 3 mother would have them value. I believe this was probably a coping mechanism to deal with her high strung, type A personality, a way to mitigate the amped up energy in the family home. Who better to mitigate the overdrive of a 3 than the gentle, measured energy of a 9 husband and two 9 kids.

Vicki seems to be unable to see her negative traits or rather is uncomfortable with having her flaws addressed on television. Her fairly public marital issues with husband Don seemed to have incited her to attempt to reconcile the marriage and "work harder" at maintaining a healthy relationship. I do get the sense that it's important that people see how hard she's trying to "make it work" with her husband which seems to be just as important as the marriage's success.

Whatever the case Vicki personifies the Type A, 3ish, work obsessed, successful, image conscious California woman. She often speaks about feeling misunderstood but I think this is due to her strong self preservation orientation, and almost compulsive desire to carve her way in the world and maintain her stark independence in a  privileged culture where the women typically take a passive role to earning in the family system. She's pulled herself up from her boostraps and is quite proud of that while I think recognizing the consequences of her workaholism and inability to relax.



Jeana

Jeana Keogh (Housewives veteran) left the show at the beginning of season 5, but has always seemed like a great example of a sexual 9w8 to me. She's sort of the embodiment of the guarded yet sensual and merging sexual 9 who wants to maintain union with her environment. It never seemed quite right that Jeana was on the Housewives to me because the flagrant materialism never quite fit with her energy (despite her efforts to pull off the image). Indeed, I think she enjoys money, big houses, and expensive clothing but the image conscious, superfluous aspects of the Coto De Caza lifestyle never quite fit her laid back, relatively unpretentious gut type energy.

I feel as though she developed a harder and more catty outer shell to deal with the drama leaden antics of her OC housewife "friends." Jeana's estrangement from her husband was always interesting because she could never manage to cut ties completely desipte his somewhat abusive and cold presence in the home. She is not a very good disciplinarian and it always seemed preferable for her to ensure her families togetherness more than their discipline or ambition. She did seem to slightly parentify her youngest child Colton (a 6 or 9) as he feels protective over his passive and subtly sensitive mother.

Here's her interacting with her assertive and opinionated daughter Kara (possibly a 3w4 or 1w2), you can see her unwillingness to engage in the conflict:




With 9 one can get a strange mixture of image consciousness and desire to meet the status quo with a subsequent desire to just be particularly when they are in a society or culture that values such ideals in order to maintain successful cultural integration (this is usually exacerbated with a social first or second instinctual orientation). The 9 doesn't want to fall too far outside of the cultural fabric lest they garner too much attention and invite too much conflict into their lives. Jeana was incredibly passive aggressive and instances of it can be seen throughout almost every episode since the show began. I believe this was her 9ish way of dealing with the anger and aggression she felt at her own percieved ineffectual nature and the pressure to meet the materialistic standard of life in the O.C. culture.

Jeana seems to alternate between passive aggression and withdrawal as can be seen in her interactions with the other women on the show. Her relationship with Vicki was strained at best, as Vicki grew annoyed with what she saw as Jeana's passive aggression and laziness regarding  various business ventures the two had undertaken. Jeana always maintained a bit of distance from most of the cast, sort of floating in and out of the drama peripherally occasionally calling anyone out but always managing to avoid too much of a fight herself. She could even have a dominant social variant due to this tendency to stalk the periphery of the social interactions the way many social 9s can, but I think her sensual and sexual energy points more to sexual first.

I get the sense that the show in conjunction with her marital situation and her loneliness really contributed to her depression and disconnection, and I personally believe her split from the show will be good for her to return to a sense of groundedness and connection with the world. In the following clip she reflects on her split from the show. If you read the subtext of her comments about her husband you can see the characteristic devoted/masochistic quality of the long suffering 9 who realized at some point that they have lost themselves in the fold while trying to merge with others.





Tamra

Tamra is the resident "mean girl" of the show and seemed to take on that roll more fully when Gretchen entered joined the cast. I believe Tamra is a 2w3 either social or sexual subtype. She embodies the stereotype of the gossiping, flirtatious, outrageous yet devoted and relationally centered 2. She can't help but find herself in the middle of all of the drama, often ensuing much of it herself. She harbors a deep and thinly veiled jealousy vendetta toward Gretchen. I think it's because she is aware of her own aging and sees Gretchen as a threat as she is likely the mirror of her younger former self. Tamra's marriage to 1w9 Simon has been suffering as she experiences the all too familiar pang of restriction from her controlling and rigid husband. There is a tendency with 2 to want the love and connection and then feel restricted and limited by the commitment. 2s need to feel a certain sense of freedom in relationship lest they begin to feel controlled and trapped. You can get a sort of princess in the tower syndrome that can feel a bit like the push/pull of the 4. It can also look a lot like 7 in many respects, but there is less of an impulse to cut and run and more of an impulse to either increase efforts toward martyrdom and dramatic manipulation or to induce jealousy in the partner to regain control of the relationship dynamic and amp up the drama in order to know they are still desired.

I think Tamra probably has 6 in the tritype which exacerbates her reactivity and affiliative impulse as well as 1 in the gut center which ramps her judgmental nature (although it could be 8 as she seems to be unafraid to butt heads if necessary and has a tendency toward bluntness and directness.)

Tamra and her oldest son Ryan (a 7w6 or 6w7) seem to have had a close relationship that was somewhat thwarted by her marriage to Simon who sees Ryan as irresponsible, disrespectful, and frivolous (which is a good example of the 1 demonizing his own line to 7). Nonetheless, this rift in the relationship is difficult for Tamra to manage as she feels the impulse to maintain the passion and sanctity of her relationship through being a "good" wife, but feels the maternal pull to protect her child who was there before Simon entered the picture.

Her relationship to the other housewives is interesting as well, as she seems to have trouble not occupying the gossip role. It is that impulse in 2 that feels the need to be the one with the important information as it increases social power and manipulation power (which points more to social subtype). She feels like this is her role to play, the one who knows and spreads information. I believe this is how she maintains an identity. The gossip impulse is exacerbated by the fact that she's received attention for her gossiping and "mean girl" persona and as an image type feels compelled to live up to the label. It just so happens that Gretchen provided a great opportunity for her to express her aggression and rage (line to 8) in a way that was entertaining for viewers. I think her indictment of Gretchen's sluttiness and inappropriateness is really her indictment of her own behavior. I can imagine Tamra wasn't too far off from that in her younger years, but if she is the social subtype there is a tendency to reign in the seduction a bit more, and cloak it a bit (not to mention the fact that Tamra had children quite young). However, despite her efforts to be malicious and catty she has started to show signs of wanting to get back in positive relationship to Gretchen as the 2 typically doesn't like to maintain an adversarial role to those in their environment for too long (as they are superego compliant and will start to feel like "bad people" for being so mean).

She also has the 2ish relationship with her estranged father, in which she is so desirous of his connection and attention and this seems to have created the need to recreate the father figure in her life in order to feel that connection she feels she lost (hence her relationship with fatherly, occasionally punitive husband Simon). There is a tendency within 2 to play the mother to the father (even if the mother is in the home) because of a desire to play the maternal role in the family system. Here she is talking about her relationship with her father:



Here's a great clip of the tension between Tamra and Gretchen. You can see the witch hunt quality to Tamra's indictment and the compulsive need to show Gretchen's "lying" and inappropriate relationships you can also see Jeana and Lynn's mediating impulse and Jeana's very telling comment "as long as it doesn't involve me I'm happy":





Gretchen

Gretchen Rossi joined the cast in the 4th season and was a lively and vivacious addition to the show. She is flirty, fun, seductive, and light hearted and seems at first like she could be a 7. However, I think Gretchen is a 2w3 sexual subtype. I think she's first and foremost focused on finding love and her flirtation has more of the 2ish sense of wanting to give the image of flirtation without the assertive promise of follow through of a 7, it's more of "look how sexy I am, do you love me yet?" When we are introduced to Gretchen in the 4th season she is engaged to Jeff, her older, ailing fiance. Her relationship seemed genuine to me and seemed to be a good representation of the tendency of 2s to find love and latch on regardless of extenuating circumstances. She also took on the caretaking role in the relationship as his cancer rendered him in need of assistance and a maternal influence.

She seems to have integrated herself quite well into Jeff's family (as he had teenage children from a previous marriage) and quickly and willingly took a a mothering role to his children as well. Her maternal energy also points more to 2 rather than 7, as that kind of commitment for a 7 might be a bit confining. I get the sense that she feels filled up by taking care of others. Indeed, she wants to flirt, have fun, and be seen as, as she puts it; "fun, flirty Gretchen" but as she's said in passing on the show this is not the "real" her, it's a role she plays because it seems to get her everything she wants. I do think she has 7 in the tritype as well as 9 (conflict avoidant, easy going, and light-hearted)

Gretchen is likely the sexual 2 as she seems largely uninterested in developing a deep connection with the other women of the cast. Her relationship with Tamra was strained at the beginning and Gretchen likely felt blindsided by Tamra's jealous indictments and accusations about her relationship with Jeff. Whatever the case, Gretchen tried to take what some might call the high road, but really she was  acting true to form to the sexual subtype who will be reluctant to involve themselves with excessive interpersonal drama. Her focus remained primarily on her relationship.

Jeff died and Gretchen quickly moved on to former O.C. house-husband Slade, and seems to have fallen in love quickly and deeply. Her love of love, and need for love personifies the sexual 2s desire to be in connection and more importantly in relationship with another person. She fosters flirtatiousness and a vivacious fun attitude for no other reason but to garner attention from men so that she can ensure that she is never alone for too long. She seems to merge well with her partners, playing the role of the good, pampered wife when with Jeff (as he had more financial freedom and independence) and now adapting to the financial restriction, Boho chic dynamic of her relationship with Slade (who incidentally is likely another 2w3). In fact, I believe the double 2 relationship is what makes her relationship with Slade work on so many levels as they both are seeking romantic relationship above all else, the desire to maintain union and avoid loneliness at all costs.

Her introduction video shows her personality well, without all of the amped up flirtatiousness. Although I always chuckle at all the flirty, girly 2's who talk about being "tom boys" as kids but always manage to grow up to be these hyper-feminine women, to me it's a testament to 2 (and particularly sexual 2) to be able to wear both hats well, it's another manifestation of I can be whoever you want me to be as long as you'll love me....seduction at its best:



Here's her and Slade together, you can see their personality similarities, the cutesy quality of the 2 and the need to show us how together, in love, and connected they are:





Lynne

Lynne Curtain is another new addition to the Housewives cast from season 4. I think Lynne is a lighthearted add to the cast and seems to inject a bit of spacey whimsy to the predominately image focus energy of the show. I see Lynne as a 9w1 sexual or self preservation subtype. She seems to be fairly ungrounded and has a very floaty almost ditsy quality about her that the other girls love to tease her about. She has a strong connection to 3 and likely has it in the tritype contributing to a fair amount of image consciousness that seems to increase as her time on the show wears on (she's adapting well to the culture of the O.C. lifestyle). She also has the tendency of the 9w1 toward exercise obsession and a hyper-focus on her weight and diet. She is an avid fitness buff and seems to have a fear of aging (I have seen this before with other 9w1 or 1w9s, typically when self preservation is first or secondary focus). I get the sense that Lynne is primarily interested in maintaining the her personal peace and harmony  even at the expense of letting her somewhat difficult hormone crazed daughters rule household. She is a poor disciplinarian (much like Jeana, another 9) and seems to have difficulty putting restrictions on her children or following through with punishment. There is little conviction in her restrictions but I can see the effect of her absent nature on her youngest daughter who feels a bit unseen by her mother (a not-uncommon effect of having a 9 parent according to Enneagram researcher Katherine Fauvre).

She is blissfully free from engagement in a lot of drama and prefers to take the mediating role in conflict if it arises. She will try and be moderate and see things from all points of view (as with the feud between Tamra and Gretchen) but will ultimately only involve herself to a limited degree before retreating. Lynne is very sensitive and the comments about her intellect and intelligence were often difficult for her to manage, as she probably feels like she has few inner reserves to deal with attacks like that. However, she seems to be able to disengage from her experiences fairly easily, floating off into some dream world where she is relatively untouched by the concerns of everyone else. She is subtly competitive (something you can see with Jeana as well) which is a testament to her connection to 3 and wants to be just as, if not more, attractive than the other ladies, however it's more important to maintain her union with the environment than express open competitiveness. This is in stark contrast to Vicki's openly competitive and domineering nature and the tension between 9 and 3 is shown well in Lynne and Vicki's relationship, as Vicki sees Lynne as ineffectual, ungrounded, and unintelligent. In this clip you can see Jeana (who seems to maintain more of her groundedness and practicality via her 8 wing) takes a jab at Lynne referring to a moment of ditsyness as a "Lynne moment." Lynne's sensitivity is shown despite trying to initially brush it off:





You can see the ungrounded yet happy go lucky quality of Lynne in this clip as she describes herself, which incidentally has little content and has the 9ish quality of having no real point or bottom line. However in the first clip you see her point to the tendency of the 9 to put themselves on the back burner and reveling in her opportunity for it to be "all about her" as she joins the cast of the Housewives:












Alexis

 

Alexis Bellino is the newest housewife this season and I might need a little more information to type her with more certainty. However, right now she's reading like a sexual 3w2 to me. She seems to be very image conscious and plays the role of good, sexy mother pretty well (which is a common role for the sx 3w2). I think she genuinely cares most about her connection with her husband (who seems like an 8w9 to me). She wants to please him, look good for him, and ensure that she is projecting the right kind of image for her family. She doesn't seem too bothered with her husband's desire for her to default to him and be a dutiful, pure wife. There's a strange sort of paradox in her image in that she boasts being quite religious and pious while still wearing short, low cut dresses, tanning, and indulging in the occasional plastic surgery (breast augmentation) that would indicate a more of a focus on sex appeal and aesthetic than her description of herself as a religious, humble woman would suggest. She has yet to be involved in any major drama and I get the sense that this particular dynamic of the OC cast will be avoided by her if at all possible. She seems assertive but only in areas that incite her attention. She is competitive with her beauty and has that sort of untouchable Barbie Doll feel to her that many sexual 3s project. She's subdued and well composed and projects the seriousness and intensity of her sexual instinct:



I don't think she's a 2 despite her devotion to her husband and marriage because her heart energy seems to be entirely directed at playing the part of devoted wife, by that I mean that she seems to feel the need to tell us how good of a wife and mother she is rather than showing us (something typical of 3s). 2s (like Gretchen or Tamra) don't overstate their caretaking roles, it is implicit in their interactions. There's a clinginess to their energy that is more flagrant that Alexis doesn't seem to have (or at least not visible on camera). Alexis is guarded and seems to be more cognizant and successful at projecting a particular image, whereas Gretchen and Tamra can't help but let their identities show in a less polished manner, showing us the chutzpah characteristic of some 2s.

Alexis runs her home a bit like a business in which she is the CEO (well, next to her husband), not unlike her 3 counterpart Vicki. She states; "I don't know that Jim would want me doing any other career... So, my goal in life is just to be the best mom and wife I can be."






Final Weigh In:

Vicki: 3w4 self-pres/social (3-6-1 tritype)
Jeana: 9w8 sexual/social (9-3-7 tritype)
Tamra: 2w3 social/sexual (2-6-1 tritype)
Gretchen: 2w3 sexual/social (2-7-9 tritype)
Lynne: 9w1 sexual/self-pres or sp/sx (9-3-6 tritype)
Alexis 3w2 sexual/self-pres (3-7-1 tritype)

Misconceptions about Eights, Nines, and Ones

I have always wanted to write a series of blogs that helps to dispel some of the common misconceptions or stereotypes about the various types. I will probably intersperse these with my other more detailed blogs about specific people.


EIGHT

Positivity and Congeniality
The Eight is often painted as being a rugged, hardened, and a cynical wheeler dealer-survivalist that has little need for such pretenses such as positivity or congeniality. I have come across Eights (of both wings) who have a need to express the positivity of a situation as I think it lets them off the hook in terms of having to solve or "do something" about a particular situation or problem. It can, on the surface, look like Nine, but the unexpressed sentiment is that "things better be okay or I'm going to have to take over". So with this I think the Eight wants for things to work out and be "fine" so that they don't have to always step up and take the reigns. While there is a desire to protect others this position can often be tiring and they often want a rest. I have met a few Eights who expressed not wanting to watch depressing films or listen to depressing music. I think this might be due to the fact that the Eight does not necessarily want to experience vulnerable emotions. Sadness as expressed through art is a sort of back door for the Eight to sensually experience the sadness or depressing content that is lurking around the corner. What differentiates this sort of false positivity from that of the Nine or Seven is that there is a fundamental cynicism just underneath the surface of the "it'll be alright" front. Underneath the positive spin lies the fixated belief that the world is no good and cut throat. Some Eights (particularly the social subtype) will sort of compact their energy in an effort to keep the anger or rage at bay as they learned that it keeps too many people away. So with that there can be a cultivation of optimistic congeniality or at least a somewhat fake restraint that attempts to keep their penetrating and bold energy from overpowering those around them. While tritype and instinctual stack will greatly influence how much positivity or brightness an 8 will need, it is not necessarily so that the Eight needs complete realism at all times. Nine wingers are particularly prone to needing "happy endings" or a bit of sugar with the coffee as anything else will force the reactive Eight energy to spring into action, which the Nine wing wants to temper to avoid being too agitated.

This is not to suggest that Eights don't experience genuine positivity. With the joyfulness of Seven and the connectedness at Nine the Eight has access to plenty of genuine positivity in addition to the healthy Eights own recognition of the bounty that life has to offer. Nonetheless, many Eights seem to feel a sense that it is their responsibility to take care of those in their sphere and can doubt the ability of others to fully take care of business if they are stuck in the trap of their ego fixations.

Willingness to Fight
Enneagram literature suggests that the Eight is always up for a fight. However, many Eights will dread the impending argument as they are aware how difficult it is to restrain their energy. Some Eights will try harder than others to keep their energy contained (particularly 9 wingers, or those who are sexual last) but if they have done some self work than they are aware that the force of their reaction often alienates others and perpetuates the belief of their bully like persona (a label many Eights find hurtful). A lot of Eights can walk away from an argument, especially from those they believe will tap their resources too much. They are often quite strategic about whom they will engage and will only take on a battle if they know they can win. All other conflicts will be dismissed and "not worth it" creating a more common tendency toward arrogant dismissal or indifference toward the person expressing the grievance.  With that said, some Eights will challenge others in order to assert independence and dominance but this is often a way to stir their own powerful energy and periodically test their own prowess, it's like making sure you still "have it" and more importantly that those close to you can handle "it". I've spoken to a couple of Eights who expressed that holding their energy back can be incredibly painful during a conflict and that to release that energy feels like an immense catharsis. However, the aftermath often causes more emotional damage they are willing to clean up. Therefore, dismissal or retreat is often done as a way to prevent having to say sorry or deal with the vulnerable experience of having to admit wrongness in an argument or conflict. In addition there seem to be certain types that are difficult for Eights to argue with, primarily those who use a more mental approach to argument (this could be said of those with Eight in the tritype as well) as the Eight works off of instinctive energy that expresses anger spontaneously whereas some types (like 5s, 6s or 7s) who will prefer to run logical circles around the Eights arguments (which will often exacerbate the Eights anger into a blustery blow up).

Female Eights and Appropriate Anger
In the fall I began pilot studies on the experience of female assertive types which yielded some interesting data in the way of how the female Eight experiences her anger and assertiveness. There seems to be more of a trash compactor quality with female Eights in which the blustery energy described in most Enneagram books is concealed due to a tendency toward socially acceptable expression of anger. As a result Eight women might also feel a more pronounced sense of misunderstanding and isolation in western society in which women are supposed to behave in more traditionally maternal and submissive ways. However, with that said many Eight women develop a more obvious connection to Two; in which playing the protective mother hen is often easier than tolerating the social isolation of being too masculine. Paradoxically most of the Eight women I talk to didn't feel particularly "feminine" as it is conceived of by society, and thus developed their own sense of femininity that includes protectiveness, self sufficiency, and the ability to garner resources.

Many female Eights may also be able to display vulnerability a bit easier because these traits are more acceptable for women in Western culture. To what extent the Eight acts out more traditional feminine traits there is still a sense of their being rough edges, or at least a subversive, in your face, femininity that penetrates the veil of appropriateness sometimes in subtle ways. The added bravado of testosterone in men seems to support the typing of male Eights more thus making the type more masculine in nature, finding and redefining the fiery gut energy in the female Eight takes a bit of fine tuning to the traditional notion of strength.  In fact, it is the experience of being compared to men or subjugated by men that the female Eight develops more Eight characteristics.  It is this development in opposition to the Hegemonic society that gives them the unfair and misogynistic label of "bitch". Whatever the case, recognizing how the female Eight expresses her personality fixation and the particular dilemmas of transcending that fixation in relation to the social world is important for Enneagram writers to address as they (female Eights) are largely underrepresented in literature.

I should add that the experience of Eight energy by women has likely changed drastically in the past 20-30 years. Younger female Eights may feel a greater sense of freedom to express the full bravado of their expansive energy. This is not to suggest that Eights (no matter what era they grew up in) don't still express their energy but depending upon the familial or cultural messages received expression may be slightly constricted.


NINE

Diva Behavior and Acting Out
The Nine is often portrayed as being nice, easy going, aggreable and generally a "good kid" (of course this is exacerbated by a 1 wing) but portraits of Nines seem to leave out the "princess/prince Nine" that can be seen in some subtype and tritype combination (typically social subtype and those with 2, 7 or 4 in the tritype). With the Prince/Princess Nine we see a Nine who has narcissistic bought into their own inherent egolessness and has developed a subsequent Ego about it. Or we can get a Nine who has been catered to throughout their life (typically by the parents) and has come to fill that role by being a bit more demanding, moody, and generally diva like than most Nines. This Nine may pout or be more vocal about complaints or disagreements because they have taken on an almost Two like position in the family system in which they were often rewarded for little else than their presence. However, underneath the diva like behavior one can see that their sense of self is not so stable and they don't entirely believe in the role they are playing. These Nines often have a more developed line to 3 in that they have learned well how to occupy a role in order to have a place in the family. Some Nines may even act out in the adolescent years (doing drugs, skipping school, etc) as a way to either garner attention from a family who has overlooked them or due to a permissive lassiez-faire discipline style in the household. I watch a show Worlds Strictest Parents sometimes which is a crudely constructed pseudo-reality show about ill-mannered kids in which they throw these "bad kids" into some tough, discipline heavy household (usually ruled by 1, 2, or 6 parents) in which they are expected to "clean up their act". I am always a little amused by the Nine children on the show (and there have been quite a few) who seem to have lost direction, or hope in their development and therefore act out to subconsciously receive some kind of intervention and get some kind of direction and encouragement from parents who have often underestimated their child's potential. These children often make miraculous recoveries and are quite easy to get along with. Even when they act out it seems to be a very passive or stubborn unwillingness to do much of anything. If the surrogate parents can activate their will than the kids seem to do fairly well from that point on.

With 2 in the tritype and with a self preservation variant one can get a "me first" oriented Nine in which they can act like frustrated divas who sort of quietly expect to have their needs taken care of. However, unlike 2s they will be less likely to pipe up if they are not satisfied and may take that kind of lack of attention as confirmation that they don't matter much. Of course some of them may throw fits and act out but their is an underlying assumption (probably a result of a dependent personality style) that they are to be taken care of, and a disappointment and anger when they are not, which can create a moody overlay to the normally placid and even-keeled Nine.

Argumentativeness and Skepticism
These are often traits reserved for Sixes but many Nines exhibit these tendencies quite openly. There is a tendency within Nine to placate or sublimate one's own opinions in the service of being agreeable. However, I have come across quite a few Nines who will revel in the opportunity to argue or disagree with others. To me there seems to be a desire to create a separateness due to the realization that merging has caused a dissolution of boundaries. As a result the Nine will begin to take oppositional positions in order to test out their assertiveness and boundaries and let others know that they are a separate person.  It's a bit like buildings walls around oneself made out of some sort of plush material. It rarely has the bite or impenetrableness that other types can have when being disagreeable (6s, 4s, 8s, etc) because there is a sense of being able to penetrate it quite easily. However, to the extent that the Nine feels the need to assert themselves due to a loss of boundaries with others, the wall will be harder and less penetrable, some Nines can dig in their heels and feel completely immovable. Indeed with 6 or even 5 in the tritype there is often a contrariness that accompanies this particular type of Nine that can be helpful in seeing the other side of an issue or fleshing out all aspects of a particular subject. Often these Nines will see themselves as intellectual and may even enjoy debating. I know at least three Nines who were on speech/debate teams and enjoyed the feeling of debating in that kind of forum because there are clear boundaries and rules for discussion. I have a relative who is a 9w1 who has even reported starting conflicts, seeing them as interesting (a manifestation of the trickster archetype typical with many Nines). However, once the conflict escalates he states he becomes agitated, restless, and nervous not wanting tempers to get to flared.
Many 9s will also harbor a fair amount of skepticism,  I've seen this primarily with 9s who favor the thinking function- xNTx, or xSTx in which logic, reason and rationality are highly valued (typically accompanying a 1 wing, and particularly common with those with social/self preservation or self preservation/social subtype stackings). There is a desire to be metered and tempered and a recognition of their own tendency to be influenced by their environment thus develeoping skepticism in order to temper the merging tendency. Again, I imagine that skepticism is enhanced by 5 or 6 in the tritype as well as a prominent 1 wing.

Darkness and Brooding
Another prevalent misconception about Nines is the notion that they present as positive or at least congenial most all of the time. However, I have encountered many Nines who have very little trouble expressing the dark sides of their personality in more open forums. Granted the sexual subtype might be more apt to display this kind of brooding nature (as well as the presence of 4 and/or 5 in the tritype). I think that darkness in the Nine is most often expressed by way of a sort of angry hopelessness that can be prevalent as a sort of dismissive attitude about their ability (or other people's ability) to get anything productive done in the world. In addition I think there are a considerable amount of Nines that express a sadness over lost love or unrequited love that can look similar to Four. However, I have noticed that when this happens with Nines it tends to have more of a devoted or dependent coloration as opposed to the more angry or vindictive unrequited love of the Four; so, in other words as opposed to "I hate you because I love you so much" (4) you might hear, "I will love you no matter what, always..." (9). The Nines masochism seems to create a sort of slave to enmeshment that is subtley different than the hatred toward the love object that Fours will often communicate. This can be seen most obviously through music or artistic expression.


ONE

Perfectionism and Procrastination
Ones are the perfectionistic, idealistic, and practical type of the Enneagram. However there are a few things that can be somewhat misleading when trying to understand the type structure of a One. Ones are indeed perfectionistic but one manifestation of perfectionism is the tendency to hesitate or procrastinate because of high, impossible standards. I have come across a couple of Ones who struggle with perfectionism but are so distressed at the need to produce something of perfection that they procrastinate and end up doing less than they might envision. Literature would have one believe that the One is constantly being proactive and carrying out their standard of perfection in all endeavors. However,  some Ones may find that they do not initiate projects due to perfectionism and a sort of sorrow about the tendency for things (including their own work and projects) to fall uncomfortably short. So while many One's do find themselves in the midst of fine tuning the details of a project or task many Ones also find themselves procrastinating for fear of not living up to their internal standards of perfection or goodness. In many ways this can mimic Four and I would venture to guess that many Ones with this particular dilemma have either Four and/or Six in the tritype which exacerbates the tendency toward procrastination. 1w9 would also be more likely to exhibit this kind of tendency toward procrastination as the 9 wing brings a sort of sloth about project initiation. Preferring to speculate about a project, or plan a project rather than actually begin the business of beginning a particular task or endeavor. It's important for Ones to remember that nothing is put forth in the word in total perfection and without the output of imperfect or flawed material the universe would be incredibly boring and mundane. So in working with procrastination in reference to perfectionism seeing the inherent beauty in the flawed nature of all things will help unravel the tightness around the need to create something of impossible purity or perfection.


Melancholy, Sadness, and Intuition
I have seen melancholy displayed quite evidently in many Ones and it seems to be directly connected to their line to Type Four. However, with the One, there seems to be an uncomfortable and undesirable relationship to the sadness or melancholy and an paradoxical desire for it to be perceived by others. I have known a few Ones who will openly wear this sadness across their energetic signature or micro-expressions. Some One's may even decide to verbalize these sad feelings, however it seems actual direct access to that emotional content is restrained by the rigidity at Point One. Many such Ones may mistype as Fours if they find the Enneagram during a period of sadness or depression. The expression of these emotions is most likely correlated to the tritype and/or instinctual subtype. Sadness (especially over love relationships, or thwarted idealism) will be amplified and played out more dramatically with the sexual subtype, also with Four in the tritype one might get a sense of a more overtly melancholy One with the strange admixture of an intellectual detachment which can look at bit like 5w4 or 4w5. Ones however are still uncomfortable with the direct emotional content and will thus manifest sadness and melancholy through somatic responses as direct emotional processing seems a bit too messy and untidy; headaches, shoulder/neck tension, fatigue, etc.

The Ones experience of intuition is often interesting to watch as many Ones try to temper the presence of intuitive information with a stark rationality that can desire to cancel out the intuitive insight. Many Ones are very intuitive but there can be a sort of galvanizing against the intuitive impression, as Tom Condon suggests it could be a way to orient against their line to Four which they see as unproductive. I believe the medium/psychic Allison DuBois (the woman the show Medium is based on) is a 1w2 and fought many years against the impressions of her powerful psychic intuition. Not only because it was seen as unacceptable but because it was fearful to receive such powerful information from a source that seemed irrational or untempered by her usual gut energy.

Appropriateness and Anger
While most Ones do feel the need to express emotions appropriately and within moderation I have seen plenty of One's express anger in an overt and unrestrained manner. Some Ones are actually quite adept at yelling, screaming, and barking at people that can look a lot like Eight when angry. I think the difference seems to be the content of the anger and the catalyst for its expression. There is a righteousness in the anger rather than an unfettered rage (that you get with 8). It's almost as though the One suddenly realizes the amount at which they have been holding back and becomes indignant at the restriction. I have been around Ones when they let appropriate fall by the wayside and connect to 7 (or 4) and seem to allow outrageousness to seep out. There can be a tendency toward speaking loudly, cursing, or using crude anecdotes, jokes or analogies to make their point. There seems to be a joy in this kind of expression for the One as it is like loosening the proverbial belt buckle and allowing the good child to play naughty for a bit. Some Ones seem to connect to this energy more easily (sexual subtypes, or Ones with 4, 7 or sometimes counterphobic 6 in the tritpye). There can be a desire to shock (especially with 7 in the tritype) however there might be a subsequent shame at the desire to do this. So with that, many Ones may only act it out when on vacation (incidentally the vacation One is a sight to see as they seem to turn into 7s when away from home, as a One I know put it "that's when I can just let it all out, it's okay to be "too much" when on vacation, but when I step off the plane to come back home, it's business as usual."
In addition to this there has also been a tendency to portray the One in a manner that seems conservative (both ideologically and politically in many cases). While this may be the case for some, there are an equal amount of intensely liberal Ones who guard their liberalism with the same zeal as their oft written about conservative counterparts. While there has been some mention of "new age" Ones this seems to be more likely with expansiveness of 7, and/or  the idiosyncratic nature of 4 in the tritype. Regardless, there is a tendency toward ideology which can sometimes manifest as fanaticism (when unhealthy). So, if a One has taken to believe in the legalization of all illegal substances they may become quite ardent and zealous about it. I think it's important to stress that while One can seem conservative energetically that they can be very liberally permissive. It is the zeal and conviction with which their ideals are upheld that makes a One and not the nature of their political, religious, or ideological positions.
The notion of the rule oriented One is important to clarify because it is not that they are so bound to following the rule book but rather adhering to an internal sense of what is right. So, Ones are not so concerned with what the rules say but rather if the rules align with their inner sense of ethics. I've known a couple of Ones who have no reason being a bit rebellious if it means not compromising their own ethical standards. Thus, what is appropriate is defined by the One and not necessarily the cultural milieu (except for the Social One who is more likely to follow a code of societal ethics depending upon their particular cultural identification).




I'll be writing about misconceptions of head types next.

P!nk Sexual 8w7

“Today, charting your own course isn't just more necessary than ever before, ... it's also much easier -- and much more fun.”-Pink

Pink is one of my favorite artists and thought a blog dedicated to her 8ness would be enjoyable and particularly illustrative of the 8w7.

Of the 8w7 Thomas Condon says: "Awakened Eights with a 7 wing are often expansive and powerful. Gregarious and generous. They may display a cheerful bravado. Can be forceful but with a light touch. Funny. Often have a good sense of humor about themselves. Generally more extroverted, ambitious and materialistic. May talk loud and be sociable party goers...Sometimes driven to bring the new into being. Can be visionary, idealistic, enterprising. Willing to take risks...When entranced aggression combines with gluttony to form an almost virulent tendency to addiction. Many entranced 8w7 have problems with drug and alcohol problems or tensions around addictions...can be moody, egocentric and quick to anger."-Thomas Condon, The Enneagram Movie and Video Guide


Of the Sexual 8 Susan Rhodes says "They tend to be larger than life characters who believe in the values of a bygone era. Values such as honor, courage, integrity and justice. They expect others to live by such values, too...SX 8s are extraordinarily intense and need good outlets for that intensity-usually physical outlets, since they're gut types. They're well aware of the power of their energy and take it seriously, because they see what happens when it gets out of control. Sexually they seek intense, over the top experiences that take them right to the edge. They like to take on a dominant role and often seek their opposite: someone willing to take on a submissive role. On a deeper level, though, SX 8s actually long for submission..."-Susan Rhodes, The Positive Enneagram

Pink has a rough and raw energy that speaks to the power of the 8. She is creative, visionary, and reactive and she takes this energy and channels it wholeheartedly into her musical expression. She has a visceral energy about her (not unlike most gut types), that reads to me intuitively like a boulder wrapped in fire. The sexual subtype is smeared across her eyes in which her gaze is glued, intense, laser like, and intimidating. Many 8s exhibit these "laser" or "dart" eyes that scan whomever they are talking to for weakness and vulnerability. Often this happens without the 8 even being cognizant of their probing nature. It is this scanning for weakness that contributes to others being intimidated by the 8 even when this is not the intention.

Her body language is relaxed and rarely is she nervous when interviewing or performing. She's spoken of the incredibly amount of adrenaline she gets from performing, and the dangerous aspects of her performances are what contribute to the "rush" she feels. Pink was admittedly addicted to various drugs in her youth and in some respects her physically demanding shows are a replacement for the artificial high from drug use. The video and song for Sober illustrate this tendency quite well:


Pink - Sober (Live) MTV VMA's from Shpend Lipa on Vimeo.

In the song she speaks to her addictive demons and expresses knowledge and awareness of her excessive tendencies:

Sober

I don't wanna be the girl who has to fill the silence
The quiet scares me 'cause it screams the truth
Please don't tell me that we had that conversation
I won't remember, save your breath, 'cos what's the use?

Ah, the night is calling.
And it whispers to me softly come and play
Ah, I am falling
And If I let myself go I'm the only one to blame

I'm safe
Up high
Nothing can touch me
But why do I feel this party's over?
No pain
Inside
You're like perfection
How do I feel this good sober?

One can also see the influence of the 7 wing, and the effect that has on her hedonistic, excessive qualities.


Of course no discussion of an 8 would be complete without speaking to the characteristic "toughness" that they typically exhibit. Pink is no exception. Perhaps it seems more evident because of the juxtaposition of her gender and the societal pressure to conform to more feminine standards of appropriate behavior. Nonetheless, Pink feels as though she has no problem backing up her claims of toughness with swift and powerful action. I think that her toughness is a source of pride and one of the reasons she sings about it with such gusto. For her, the ego identification lies in knowing she can protect herself and others should this be necessary. She sees herself as a survivor and willing to overcome any obstacles necessary in order to avoid being controlled or dominated in any way. The public got its first glimpse of the defiant and subversive Pink on her second album, which, according to her was the first time we got to see who she really is:



"I was always in a fight, cause I can't do nothing right." This line is pretty indicative of how her rebelliousness and unwillingness to take direction often found her in opposition to authority. She had a rocky relationship with her parents as an adolescent, which is not uncommon for teenagers in general, but seems to be amplified with a rebellious 8 (or sometimes 7 or counterphobic 6 kid).  However, in keeping with her value of truth and honesty we see the awareness of her own ego limitations and the willingness to take risk despite consequences from the outside world. Katherine Fauvre states that one of the tantamount points of 8 is the willingness to act on one's own accord without care for the consequences of the actions, it's sort of a "fuck you, I'm going to do it anyway" attitude that screams in the face of authority and says "I'm the boss, not you!"

Another song that showcases her feelings of being a survivor and her belief that she is sort of constantly pushing against the grain. Many 8s see life as an uphill battle and perceive opposition and control where there may be non. With counterphobic 6 in the tritype the fear of being controlled or taken advantage of is amplified:

18 Wheeler

Hey, hey, man! What's your problem?
I see you tryin' to hurt me bad
Don't know what you're up against
Maybe you should reconsider
Come up with another plan
Cuz you know I'm not that kinda girl
That'll lay there and let you come first

You can push me out the window
I'll just get back up
You can run over me with your 18 wheeler truck
And I won't give a fuck
You can hang me like a slave
I'll go underground
You can run over me with your 18 wheeler but
You can't keep me down, down, down, down 

Here she speaks again of her unwillingness to just "lay there and let you come first", which speaks to the desire of the 8 to make sure that they are satisfied at all costs (lust). This is certainly excerbated again by the 7 wing (gluttony).

In her more light heartened pop songs we see Pink poking fun at her own over the top personality. Another marker of the healthy to high functioning average 8 is the willingness to poke fun at their own aggressive and dominant tendencies:

Cuz I Can

P I N K
P I M P
I'm back again
I know you all missed me
I'm so so sick
Can't handle it
Yeah I talk shit
Just deal with it

My rims are 23 inch
And they're black on black
No they're not his
Diamonds all over my teefs
You can try and try you can't beat me

So I'll cash my cheques and place my bets
And hope I'll always win
Even if I don't I'm fucked because
I live a life of sin
But it's alright
I don't give a damn
I don't play your rules I make my own
Tonight
I'll do what I want
Cuz I can

 
Again the explicit recogintion of her hedonism (7 wing) "I live a life of sin", the desire to overcome over the war that is life, "I'll cash my checks and place my bets, and hope I'll always win", and the defiance and unwillingness to be controlled by others' rules; "I don't play your rules I make my own, tonight, I'll do what I want, cause I can."

The analogy of life being a war often comes up with 8s, in which they literally see the world as a battlefield in which one must protect themselves and one's fellow soldiers in order to survive. The war anaology shows up in a couple of Pink's songs but most explicitly in My Vietnam. In this particular song we also see the tendency for the gut type (8,9,1) to not know how to adjust themselves to the demands of the parents/world at large. Each of the gut types deals with this differently, 8s by refusing to mitigate the fiery energy of the gut center, 9s by repressing the energy, and 1s by controlling the angry energy of the gut center. Life becomes Guerrilla warfare in which only the savvy, bold, and tough survive, however in the last stanza we see her awareness that she is not what people expected her to be, and the pain this causes:

My Vietnam

This is my Vietnam
I'm at war
Life keeps on dropping bombs
And I keep score
...
She said I wasn't good enough, but I guess I
wasn't trying
Never like school that much, they tried to teach
me better
But I just wasn't hearing it because I thought I
was already pretty clever
...

What do you expect from me?
What am I not giving you?
What could I do for you to make me OK in your
eyes?

I get the impression that Pink finds it exceedingly difficult and unacceptable to mitigate her own energy because the force of her own bravado and intensity is not likely to be squelched, however since she found music it seems that this became the main channel in which she channels the anger and aggression that boils inside of her. Pink's adolescence was about as rebellious as one can get and she exhibited a fearlessness and recklessness at a young age that was terrifying for parents who didn't know how to handle a young, aggressive 8 child.



The ballsy outspoken nature of Pink can be seen in this "Choose or Loose" interview in which she speaks to her own belief in her own convictions (often thinking those who disagree are wrong, another common and amusing feature of 8), and her fearlessness at expressing what she believes:






Pink, like most reactive types (4,6,8) value truth above the cloaking of emotional or threatening content. As she speaks about each song on her latest album Funhouse there is frequent mention of the values of truth, honesty, and a great emphasis on the beauty of emotional honesty and expression. This sort of artistic sensibility often accompanies the sexual 8 whom I like to conceptualize as the "Boxer Poet" archetype (as suggested by Tom Condon). One can see the intensity and desire for creative catharsis of the sexual subtype mingling with the strength and veracity of the 8 to support a creative process that has a rawness and visceral quality that captures a very "real" moment in time. Pink has 4 in the tritype which contributes to the confessional style of her music (as the sexual 4 is the confessional subtype), and amplifies the desire for emotional truth and honesty as displayed through art:





 Her adventurous 7 wing is displayed throughout the above interview as she mentions her desire to be kept in the dark about the future as well as her mention of the energetic aspects of the creative process. I often see the idiosyncratic style (talking about energy, vibing, etc) with 8w7 as opposed to the 9 wing as the visionary, inventive nature of the 7 wing adds a slightly mystical bent to the usually very grounded and practical 8. She speaks of the frequent writing of songs spontaneously and often in the company of the very person she is writing about, (husband Carey Hart-either a 6w7 or 9w8). Exposing the rawness of their relationship to the public and close friends by writing revealing songs personifies the confessional nature of the sexual subtype and the need for truth and realness of the 8.

Here again she speaks to her impulsive song writing style. As a side note, I am particularly struck by the sardonic look on her face throughout most of her interviews, there is an implied threat even when she is seemingly quite cheerful (a state she admittedly inhabits frequently, due to the influence of a strong 7 wing) one still gets the sense of strong, impenetrable, invisible boundaries:





Her primary inspiration comes from personal angst and relationship turmoil (not uncommon for many artists). However, in some respects she needs this tension in order to create (another testament to 4 being in the tritype). In fact, it is the tension of her most vulnerable life area (the sexual arena) that allows her to channel her vulnerability into creative expression. We all experience the most pain in our primary instinctual arena, and it is there that we find the inspiration for creation.  Nonetheless, though she speaks about her vulnerability and sensitivity after the fact, and we are very rarely allowed access to the softer Pink in interviews. We can however see it in her lyrics and videos.

The vulnerability of the 8 is kept well hidden as this is what is to be protected at all costs. I especially appreciate Condon's analogy that states that the 8 takes their own vulnerabilities, places them in other people, and protects it there. I think this is incredibly appropriate and accurate for the way in which most 8s explore their softness. However, the sexual 8 can show a bit more softness and vulnerability than the other 8 subtypes, thus contributing to the sort of boxer/poet archetype mentioned earlier:

Whether it's the pain of her parents separation and tumultuous relationship:

Family Portrait

Can we work it out? Can we be a family?
I promise I'll be better, Mommy I'll do anything
Can we work it out? Can we be a family?
I promise I'll be better, Daddy please don't
leave

The vulnerability and sadness she feels while alone, and a recognition of her own schema that life is a battle to be won and the toll that position can take on one's emotional state:

Nobody Knows

Nobody knows
Nobody knows but me
That I sometimes cry
If I could pretend that I'm asleep
When my tears start to fall
I peek out from behind these walls
I think nobody knows
Nobody knows no

...

It's win or lose not how you play the game
And the road to darkness has a way
Of always knowing my name
But I think nobody knows
No no

Or the vulnerability and confession of her fears of abandonment, rejection, and loss of romantic love:

 I Don't Believe You

No I don't believe you
When you say don't come around here no more
I won't remind you
You said we wouldn't be apart
No, I don't believe you
When you say you don't need me anymore
So don't pretend
To not love me at all

In all three videos we not only have soft, poetic and vulnerable lyrical content but we also see a softer Pink; her vulnerability and grief are expressed visually through the softening of her surroundings and a smoothing of her typically sharp, hard-edged Pop-punk style. Whether it's the expression of the scared and hurt inner child as in Family Portrait, the burden of being everyone else's pillar of strength as in Nobody Knows, or the woman who just wants to be reassured of her value to the beloved in I Don't Believe You, Pink shows her vulnerability to us through her artistic expression.

However, it is not always sad and serious. The ability of the 8 and particularly the 8w7 to play with their own "psychosis" (to use Pink's terminology) points to the playful energy of the 7 mingling with the strength of the 8. We see the expression of vulnerability in a much more playful albeit macabre way in Please Don't Leave Me:

Please Don't Leave Me

I don't know if I can yell any louder,
How many times have I kicked you out of here?
Or said something insulting?
...
I can be so mean when I wanna be,
I am capable of really anything,
I can cut you into pieces,
When my heart is, broken.
 ...

How did I become so obnoxious,
What is it with you that makes me act like this,
I've never been this nasty,
Can't you tell that this is all just a contest?
The one that wins will be the one that hits the hardest,
But baby I don't mean it,
I mean it, I promise

The juxtaposition of the vulnerability of the lyrics and the playfulness of the video likely helped to ease her uncomfortability with expressing her insecurities about her relationship to the world. It also shows the strength and forcefulness of the sexual 8 in relationship mingling with the push pull tendencies of 6 and 4 in the tritype. The result is a tumultuous and rocky relationship.

In many of the interviews you can see a sort of go to hell silliness that feels as though at any moment her bantering and witty playfulness could erupt into rage. In the following interview with Jimmy Kimmel I was struck by how comfortable she felt, the expansiveness of her energy as well as the visceral sensualness of her body language which reeks of sexual 8, it is as though at times she just wants to allow herself to love everyone in the room but catches herself and jumps back into a defended body armor that keeps people slightly away. I once saw a sexual 8w7 at a Condon panel discussion at an Enneagram Conference who exhibited this same body language and expressed the desire to "have sex with" everyone in the room and a subsequent fear of letting anyone get too close lest they take advantage of her, and push her out of that loving feeling.



I also find it curious that her favorite nickname given to her by her friends is "fat mama", which to me points to her awareness and desire to be a protective figure for those in her life. I get the sense that she protects her friends and family fiercely and requires undying loyalty in return (exacerbated by counterphobic 6 in the tritype). In the following clip she talks about her childhood admiration of singer/songwriter Linda Perry and the anger she felt when she thought Perry had betrayed her through working with artist she didn't like (namely Christina Aguilera. This is not uncommon for the sexual 8 (or 8 in general) who needs complete confidence and loyalty from intimates. Pink even states that her relationship and professional split with Perry parallels the feelings of being slighted by a lover; "I took it really personally when she started working with other artists, particularly artists I didn't like."
The following clip also helps paint a more complete picture of the Pink the artist and the expression of her art through the forceful energy of the 8.



In this clip she speaks to her boldness and brashness as it related to her adolescene and early music career:

"I remember when we got into Tommy Matola (president of Sony) office and we were singing and he was like fiddling around on his desk and he wasn't even paying attention and I just stopped the music in the middle of our first song and I said 'can you  at least act like you're paying attention and not look out the fucking window while we're singing, cause I didn't smoke today.' I'm like 15 cursing out Tommy Matola, that didn't go over well" 


 Even the gritty and soulful sound of her voice seems to speak to her personality structure. Pink's voice has the rawness of Janice Joplin (someone with whom she identifies with), and the soulfulness of an R&B singer mixed with the sharp, pointy edges of a punk rocker (a la Debbie Harry or Chrissie Hynde).

This clip really shows the rawness of her vocal styling, the song Unwind was written about Joplin, in which she states she channeled the troubled, rogue artist:



And this video because I just love the song and performance:

 The One That Got Away

I'm not a victim of clichés
I don't believe in soul mates
Happy endings only one
Oh and I met you and all that changed
I had a taste and you're still sitting on the tip of my tongue

I think you all get my point. I could go on and on. All in all I think Pink is a great representation of the sexual 8w7. I believe she has 4 and counterphobic 6 in the tritype, so she is triple reactive and faces fear and anxiety head on in an aggressive and intuitive way.

Final Weigh In:

Pink: 8w7 sx/so 
8-6-4 Tritype: "Intuitive and inquisitive 8. Intense, reactive, loyal 8. Rebellious and confrontational, Most outspoken 8. Seeks alliances with friends and foes."-Enneagram Explorations

Introduction to the 9 types

The Enneagram system is separated into Three triads which characterize the central concerns of the three types within each triad, each type underexpresses, overexpresses, and controls the energy of the center in a particular way.


The types are influenced by the types on either side of them on the enneagram. The influence of these types is referred to as a "wing". Most people have a dominant wing that influences their type but some find they are affected equally by the types on either side of their dominant type. For example some 2s are primarily influenced by 3 on one side and thus are referred to as a 2 with a 3 wing, (written in this blog as 2w3) while others are influenced more by the 1 on the other side of the 2 and are referred to as a 2 with a 1 wing, or 2w1.

I will organize these descriptions by Center and provide an archetypal image to help get a better feeling of the type.



The Head Center: (5,6,7)
The energy here is mental; issues of thought, fear, authority and trust are paramount and of major concern for the types in this center. These individuals typically struggle with anxiety and want to find safety by knowing who and what to believe about life and the world. This search for knowing can lead to avarice (5), doubt (6), or gluttony (7).

Five: The Investigative Loner
This is the consummate mental type who deals with the anxiety about the world be attempting to know the world. 5s believe that by understanding the world they will be able to mitigate the anxiety they feel about inhabiting the world. Typically 5s are uncomfortable with human relationships because of their unpredictable nature and prefer to observe rather than participate, until they are sure of what to do. This is the iconoclastic scientist archetype. They overexpress the energy of the head center by focusing a lot on their ideas and the knowledge they have acquired. Avarice is expressed in the need to acquire enough to sustain life and not be left without.
5 with a 4 wing (5w4s): 5w4s are more intuned with the emotional world yet still largely uncomfortable with experiencing the energy of the 4. They are more aesthetically focused and typically a bit more obviously idiosyncratic, preferring to cultivate the artistic bent of the 4 as opposed to the scientific focus of the 5w6 wing. They are often attracted to the occult and esoteric and inhabit a world of fascinating and sometimes dark or nihilistic imaginations. This is the Enneagram's "Iconoclast."

5w6s are more scientifically focused, logical, and more overtly rational than the more intuitive 5w4. They are more concerned with the rationale behind ideas and while all 5s enjoy systems the 5w6 will adhere to the confines of the system more readily due to the influence of the 6 wing. 5w6 tend to be more gregarious, friendly, and a bit more extroverted whereas the 5w4 is more obviously withdrawn and remote. This is definitely the "Scientist" archetype.
Exemplars of 5: Bill Gates, Steven Hawking, Tim Burton, Eckhart Tolle, Anthony Hopkins, Georgie O'Keefe, Annie Lebowitz

Six: The Loyal Skeptic 
 This is the most confusing and misunderstood type on the Enneagram due to its inherently ambivalent nature. 6's have the most compounded issues surrounding trust and tend to look for a safe harbor with which to relax. However, 6s find it difficult to relax because they are constantly scanning and reacting to the percieved dangers in the environment, fearing that if they let their guard down they will be taken by surprise. Therefore the 6 is a wonderful problem solver and often sees difficult truths that others neglect to notice but consequently struggles most acutely with anxiety and doubt due to their focus on this often troubling intutive information. They search for something (an idea, institution, person, religion, political affiliation, spiritual orientation, etc) to believe or trust in so they can have certainty about what will come next. 6's control the energy of the head center through attempting to think of every possible contingency to avoid danger and therefore head off their anxiety. Doubt is expressed through the need to have certainty and the simultaneous understanding that nothing is certain. 6s can express the relationship to fear and anxiety in two ways; through a counterphobic response in which they move toward fear in order to avoid experiencing it (this would be like taking a public speaking course if you are afraid of public speaking) or a phobic response in which you ingratiate yourself to others to seem less threatening as if to say "don't fear me, I'm harmless" which therefore helps you to feel less threatening and therefore less threatened by others. Most 6s express both tendencies in different areas of life (phobic at home, counterphobic at work, or vice versa).

  

6w5s takes the energy of the doubting energy of the 6 and mingles it with the investigative nature of the 5 to create a type I like to call "the private eye". They are harder to get to know due to the remote nature of the 5 wing and tend to be more obviously cynical and skeptical of the outside world. They are adept at uncovering the hidden truth in a situation and can be more concerned with seeming intellectual or "smart" rather than friendly or supportive. 6w7s are more obviously friendly and enjoy the company of like minded people. They take the enthusiastic energy of the 7 and channel that into building friendships and relationships that support a sense of safety. Some people refer to the 6w7 as the buddy. They are typically more trendy and intuned with the social world than the 6w5 and express a more dynamic, comedic sense of humor (as opposed to the 6w5s dry, deadpan humor). The 7 wing brings a bit more uncertainty about their own behavior and tendency toward erratic or spontaneous expression of fear or doubt. They can be emotionally labile and moody and sometimes seem like 7s or 4s.
Exemplars of 6: Larry David, Malcolm X (Counterphobic), Ellen DeGeneress (phobic), Woody Allen (phobic), Marilyn Monroe, Michael Moore, David Letterman, Kelly Clarkson, Gwen Stefani




Seven: The Enthusiastic Improviser
This is the most positive and outgoing type in the Enneagram and is typically the most energetic. 7s are entertaining and manage the mental energy by staying busy. 7s live by the idea that you can't catch a moving target so they are constantly projecting themselves into the future with fun ideas, plans, or exciting endeavors in order to avoid feeling the anxiety that seems to be chasing them down. 7s love to synthesize ideas and are extremely innovative but can have difficulties with completion due to their fear of being "tied down." 7s underexpress the energy of the mental center as they attempt to outrun their anxiety through action and doing. Gluttony is expressed in the need to acquire more experience in order to never be deprived, bored, or boring. 

7w6s are more loyal and relationally focused than the more independent 7w8. They express the energy of the 6 through a need to be loyal and supportive friends but still desire more freedom and autonomy than the 6w7. They are typically funny and entertaining and feel safest when people like them for the fun, outgoing people they are. They tend to run higher anxiety due to the influence of the 6 and will often deal with this anxiety through humor. The are often called "The Comedian". 7w8s are more earthy and grounded taking the gut energy of the 8 and channeling it through the mental energy of the 7. They are typically more forceful about having their fun and more independent. They present less bubbly than the 7w6 and express the 7 energy more through decisive action in the world. They crave many things and want those cravings met so they can seem more demanding and bossy than the other subtype. They are often called "The Sensualist."
Exemplars of 7: Robin Williams, Jack Nicholson, Lady Gaga, Brad Pitt, Steve Jobs (Apple founder), Joan Rivers, Bette Midler, Larry King, Fergie,



Heart Center (2,3,4)
The energy here is feelingful, heartfelt and focused around relationships (both to the self and others). These types have compounded issues around self image, shame, grief, and recognition and attention. These types often try to find themselves in relation to other people but can get caught in playing a role in order to garner attention. This search can lead to pride (2), vanity (3) or envy (4).

Two: The Giving Helper
2 is the most outwardly feelingful of all of the Enneagram types and is most concerned with their relationship to other people. They focus on relationships above all else and desire to be helpful, supportive and important to the people in their lives. 2s find the most satisfaction in being helpful to others and so therefore overexpress the energy of the heart center by being obviously effusive, complimentary, and heartfelt. This can degenerate into a need to be seen as important to others and thereby deserving of attention. Pride is expressed in the belief that they are more helpful and generous than others and that they are underappreciated.

2w3s are quite extroverted and enjoy looking successful and attractive to other people. They take the goal orientation of the 3 and mingle it with the relational focus of the 2 and can be not only successful in their relationships but also professionally. They can have a more dramatic flair, as the need for external validation and attention is heightened by the influence of the 3. They can also have problems with inflated self importance and fall into diva like behavior. 2w1s are more reserved and focused on making a valued contribution to those they have taken under their wing. They are tempered by the somber energy at 1 so tend to be less showy and more contained energetically. This is the consummate silent martyr archetype that wants recognition for their deeds but is less inclined to make a show of it, compared to the 2w3. They can be thought of as the Enneagram's "Social Workers."
Exemplars of 2: Bill Cosby, Carrie Underwood, Mother Teresa, Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston, Richard Simmons, Bono



Three: The Successful Salesman
3's are the Enneagram's consummate image personality and are adept at adapting themselves to whatever a situation calls for. 3's are successful, ambitious, and dynamic personalities that believe in the value of healthy competition and winning. 3's want to be seen as successful to others so can sometimes fall into playing a role in order to gain approval. 3s underexpress the energy of the heart center as they disconnect from their true emotions in order to effectively play the role they are trying to project. 3s can fall into deceitful behavior due to a need to impress and outshine others. Vanity is expressed as the 3 begins to believe the image they project to the world and its inherent value over others.

3w2s are more concerned with relationship maintenance than the more work oriented 3w4. They are still 3s however and focused primarily on the goals they have set, but recognize the importance of being likable and gregarious toward others. They tend to be a bit more bubbly and need to see themselves as helpful and successful individuals creating a more perfectionstic orientation, wanting to be the perfect example of whatever milieu they identify with. They are sometimes referred to as "The Star," due to their enthusiastic and charming persona. 3w4s are more professionally focused, and care less for what others think about their goals compared to the 3w2. They are pragmatic, effective, and incredibly goal oriented. They tend to have a more internal focus due to the influence of the 4 as well as a more eccentric or creative presentation. They can be more in touch with their authentic feelings when healthy. They can be arrogant and haughty and less concerned about friendship and relationship than the other subtype. They are the Enneagram's "Professional."


 Exemplars of 3: Tom Cruise, Oprah, Halle Berry, Ryan Secrest, Sharon Stone, Britney Spears, Tiger Woods, America



   
Four: The Misunderstood Intuitive
4s are the "deep sea divers" of the Enneagram and are concerned primarily with discovering their identity through introspection and creativity. 4s believe that their purpose is to discover the truth of who they are so therefore dedicate themselves to uncovering the totality of their emotional lives. 4s are intuitive, creative, and moody. 4s can get stuck in the morass of their emotional lives and find it difficult to orient themselves to the world, getting stuck in dark or depressing emotions and staying melancholically stuck to the past. 4s therefore control the energy of the heart center in an effort to keep the intensity of their inner worlds alive they dredge up emotional content often resulting in melodramas or ineffectual reverie for what is missing. Envy is expressed in the belief that other people are in possession of something the 4 desires and that the 4 has been denied access to the proverbial brass ring.

4w3s are more dramatic and tend to have a greater drive toward success and recognition. They express the need for authenticity and creativity at 4 and temper it with the drive at 3 that can create someone who can feel like they are trying to pass as "normal" to the world. They tend to be more outgoing and want to be recognized for their special contribution compared to the more withdrawn 4w5. There can be a tendency toward narcissism but also a great practical intelligence. They are often referred to as "The Aristocrat." 4w5s are more withdrawn and intellectually focused. They tend to be more interested in the dark or gothic, or at least the esoteric and spiritual. 4w5 have a harder time galvanizing to action than the 4w3 so tend to take longer to produce results in the world. They can be quite intellectual and often identify with the mental energy at 5, so there is a tendency both with 5w4 and 4w5 to think about the emotional world as opposed to the more spontaneous feelingful tone of the 4w3. This is the "Bohemian" archetype.
Exemplars of 4: Michael Jackson, Prince, Marilyn Manson, Fiona Apple, Virginia Woolf, Bob Dylan, Stevie Nicks, Angelina Jolie, Johnny Depp



 

Gut Center: (8,9,1)
The energy in the gut center is earthy, grounded, stable and mutable. These types typically have issues surrounding anger and repression and manifest this energy in different ways. Gut types tend to default to the gut instinct when making decisions and use thought or feeling to support these gut intuitions about the world. These types crave acceptance for the way they are and often find it difficult to modulate themselves to the expectations of the world around them so go about meeting this expectation in the way characteristic of their type. This task is sometimes thwarted by lust (8), sloth (9), or anger/intolerance (1).

Eight: The Protective Maverick
 The 8 is fiercest character in the Enneagram and typically has a large aura and forceful energy to back up their ferociousness. 8s are decisive, blunt, willful, and protective. They are most comfortable taking the protective, leadership role in most situations and prefer to be in charge of others as opposed to being in control. 8s often have trouble controlling their anger and therefore can be intimidating and overly forceful to others. Therefore 8's overexpress the energy of the gut center as the anger is displayed overtly and without apology. Lust is expressed in the 8s refusal to deny their own id impulses.

8w7s are forceful and have a quicker tempo than the slower 8w9. They are dynamic and typically like to have a considerable amount of excitement. They tend to be creative and entrepreneurial and enjoy trailblazing through the world making a distinctive mark. They can have problems with addiction and a quick and rash temper that can get them into trouble. They are quicker to action than the 8w9 and express the maverick energy of 8 more obviously. This is the Enneagram's "Power Broker." 8w9s are a bit slower in tempo and express the forceful energy at 8 in a more subdued and laid back way with the influence of 9. They feel incredibly grounded but still a force to be reckoned with. They enjoy relaxing but as with all 8s will not tolerate being controlled or manipulated. They tend to be more enduring and willing to sacrifice their comfort to protect others in their sphere. 8w9 express the double gut energy in a way that can make them seem a bit meathead like in their presentation, having a tendency to explode with rage or bully people with a relaxed indifference. This type is best conceptualized as a "Sleeping Volcano."
Exemplars of 8: Pink, Martin Luther King Jr., Donald Trump, Mickey Rourke, Sean Penn, Queen Latifah, Roseanne, Rosie O'Donnell, Rush Limbaugh




Nine: The Peaceful Mediator
The 9 is the most peaceful character in the Enneagram and is easy-going, pleasant, unassuming, and temperate. 9s are the peacemaker and find that the energy of the gut center is best mitigated by placating the anger inside themselves. 9s prefer to keep the peace in themselves and in the environment so their energy is calming and stable. 9s are imaginative and can sometimes feel a bit untethered (going against the typical energy of the gut center) in an effort to avoid the unpleasant feelings that may come to their awareness. Therefore the energy of the gut center is underexpressed with the 9 as they attempt to deny any anger that may arise within themselves. 9s can have a tendency to fall asleep to the self, preferring to just float through life unbothered by development or too much involvement which is why sloth/laziness can be problematic.

 
9w1s take the peaceful energy at 9 and pair it with the principled, perfectionstic energy of 1. This makes for a type who is laid back but a bit more picky and particular about life. They typically try to be moral and upright people who value service to the world. They can enjoy routine a bit more and are more reserved in presentation than the 9w8. They also tend to be more intellectual and rationale than the 9w8. They can have more problems with the repression of anger and passive aggression, and express more the dormat role more than the 9w8. This is the Enneagram's "Good Boy/Girl."
9w8s are more earthy and typically have a more fiery presentation than the 9w1. The 8 wing brings a stronger connection to their anger which will make them more forceful or bossy, but still relaxed and laid back as a general state of being. They are more concerned with having their appetites met and can be more apt to speak up if they have a problem. However, they still avoid conflict and can have problems with repression that typically manifests through numbing out through various things like eating, watching TV, or drinking. They are often referred to as "The Rock."
Exemplars of 9: Gandhi, Jerry Sienfeld, Abraham Lincoln, Jack Johnson, Norah Jones, Barack Obama, The Dali Lama



One: The Perfectionstic Reformer
The 1 is upright, moral, and fair-minded and typically likes to live up to their own internal standards. 1s are perfectionstic and desire that life fall into accordance with their ideals. They are hardworking and dilligent and believe that human decency is best upheld through the teaching of these values to others. 1s can focus on a variety of issues as ideal causes from the environment to religion or the law. 1s tend to control the anger of the gut center by controlling themselves; the belief is that if I do what is right, and I am good/right then I will be okay. Negative emotions are therefore transformed into more appropriate emotions that can be produced to create change. 1s are focused on self improvement but can become nit-picking, moralizing, and degrading to those they see as "wrong". Anger is expressed indirectly through intolerance, irritation, or indignation due to their incredibly high standards and the fear that they will not meet them.

1w9s are more cerebral in nature and take the tempered energy of 1 and pair it with the imaginative and peaceful energy at 9. They are less inclined to go out in the world and try to help reform it but rather postulate and theorize about how things should be. They enjoy inhabiting their imaginations and prefer the theoretical implications of ethics and politics. The can seem more remote and can have problems with abstracting people to ideals or a series of expectations and seem more unrelenting in their pursuit toward perfection. This is more the "High Minded Idealist" 1w2s are more relationally focused and like to take the ideals they hold and apply them in the world more obviously. They enjoy being helpful and tend to be more effusive and vocal about their desire for perfection. They can express the perfection of the 1 through the helpfulness of the 2 which can cause problems with others and their need to reform the people in their lives to express their high ideals. Pride can mingle with resentment and create a zealous quality. This energy is best described as the "Principled Reformer."
Exemplars of 1: Hilary Clinton, Martha Stewart, Kate Gosselin, Colin Powell, Sidney Poitier, Ann Coulter, Depak Chopra, Judge Judy